this is the world i created for myself...

DrewDINO: i was doing a myspace survey
Veektur: how're u
Veektur: whats up people?
DrewDINO: im good. you?
Veektur: spiffy
Veektur: sleepy
chemmy !: silly drew :P
Veektur: bored
DrewDINO: haha.  drews fucking wide awake.
chemmy !: so is chemmy !
Veektur: lol
Veektur: i have school tommrow
DrewDINO: i dont!
DrewDINO: w00t!
Veektur: why
DrewDINO: because im hardxcore
Veektur: ok?
DrewDINO: yeah.  i dont do school.
chemmy !: same hurr
DrewDINO: i sit at home.  and stick needles in my arm.
chemmy !: hahaa
DrewDINO: and pop pills.
Veektur: yall are straight hood
DrewDINO: and smoke teh dope.
Veektur: lol jp
chemmy !: i breath in powder
DrewDINO: and shoot up stores for there money
chemmy !: and booze
Veektur: and do coke
chemmy !: and acidddd
DrewDINO: tru dat yo
Veektur: so whats really up
DrewDINO: nothing.
DrewDINO: im sitting in a chair
chemmy !: i'm eating hearts
Veektur: im sitting on my bed
chemmy !: i'm sitting in a pile of shit (:
DrewDINO: thats like you chels.
* Havoc_On_Pope joined the room.
chemmy !: ^-^
DrewDINO: heyyy
Veektur: alrighty im gonna go to bed
DrewDINO: u do that.
DrewDINO: ill be on if u come back.
chemmy !: sleep tight lil kid !
Veektur: psht
Veektur: im 14
DrewDINO: im 16
Veektur: almost 15 in 2 months
DrewDINO: shes 17.
Veektur: spiffy
chemmy !: very
DrewDINO: were rockstars too.
Veektur: well this is all very well but i have school to go to tommrow
chemmy !: international rockstars
Veektur: lol
DrewDINO: w00t!
Veektur: u guys need to stop popin those pill
DrewDINO: u need to.
chemmy !: but they so damn good !
DrewDINO: lmao.
Veektur: my dog almost died today
* Havoc_On_Pope left the room.
Veektur: well not almost
DrewDINO: that sucks.
chemmy !: my grandma almost died today
Veektur: but he almost ate one of my moms pains killers
DrewDINO: i hit your dog.
DrewDINO: wiuth my truck.
DrewDINO: wait.
Veektur: liar
DrewDINO: no
chemmy !: fuck that. you hit my grandma
DrewDINO: chelseas grandma almost died in a car accident cuz she hit ur dog.
Veektur: my grandmas are lesbians
DrewDINO: lmao.
chemmy !: my grandma has a great ass
DrewDINO: my grand ma is psycho.
chemmy !: yummm
DrewDINO: shes so funny though
chemmy !: i hear psycho grannies are freaks in tha bedddd
DrewDINO: lmfao.
DrewDINO: her husbands dead
* Veektur left the room.
chemmy !: even better !
DrewDINO: lmfao he was fucking weird!
chemmy !: zomg. i wanted to him him for being so ugly
chemmy !: xD
DrewDINO: huh?
chemmy !: lmao. i mean slap him
DrewDINO: haahah i bet.
chemmy !: ahaha and watch out ! he's 14
chemmy !: xD lmao
DrewDINO: lmao.  i know right.
chemmy !: hahaha
chemmy !: and almost 15 !
DrewDINO: hahah were druggies
* gregorys92 joined the room.
chemmy !: hardcorrrreee druggies [x
DrewDINO: heyyy

you know how they say that you don't feel anything in your dreams ? well i feel all of my senses except for taste. which is insanely weird.

but anyway. lately i've been having my share of really freaky dreams. and not just oh that was a bad dream; turn the pillow over and go back to sleep and have a good dream. they're like, haunting dreams. i've woken up many times being able to feel my heart beating because of how scared i've been. there's times when i've woken up sacred stiff and laying in my bed until the sun comes up because of brutality of my dreams. i recall this one time when i was a kid i woke up having a panic attack from my dream and not being able to see anything except this weird static.

 

the most recent one was a dream i had last night. and possibly one of the worst since its a huge fear of mine.

i took this from the description i wrote for my friend..

 

'there was this place with a bunch of rooms
and in every room a girl was tortured
and i was one of them
and i don't know what the guy did to me but i remember seeing a lot of gushy chunky blood and this thing sticking out out my arm.
but i didn't witness it happening. i kept having flashbacks during my dream.
and there was this organization or something that was getting rid of the rooms and the first step was going to each room and saying what happened in each of them. and i remember being deathly afraid to go because i thought the guy would do something again.
then after that they were trying to either renovate the rooms or juts get rid of them and i had to make sure that the guy wouldn't see me or find me or know where i was and that i was still alive.
kind of like what happened in i know who killed me.

but it freaked me out enough that i couldn't concentrate during my midterm. and i went outside then remembered my dream and i got paranoid thinking that the guy would came and kidnap me and do shit to me again. >.<'

 

one of my biggest fears is waking up and not knowing where i am. being in a room with a man i don't know and him torturing me makes it even worse.

and like what i said. today during my very important math midterm i thought of my dream and i got scared to the point where i just sat there and had to calm myself down for ten minutes. then as i was walking home, almost to my house, i thought of my dream and i started looking around everywhere to make sure no one was coming and there was no one suspicious. i started walking faster just to make sure i'd get home without being kidnapped.

 

i'm tired of  having dreams that scare the shit out of me. i'm tired of running through my house just to get to my room because of my dream popping into my head and me being scared thinking its going to happen. i guess thats why i have to keep all of the lights on. its hard to creep around in broad daylight, plus nothing bad really happens during the day. but once night falls its like everyone becomes filled with this desire to be extremely cruel and they do shit like that. its horrible that people these days actually do shit like this leaving younger kids to be deathly afraid and dream of it happening to them. how can people live with themselves knowing that they've done something so horrible and so gruesome to another human being that did nothing to deserve what they got.  

i just don't understand it.