this is the world i created for myself...

so bascially i decided that since i'm always having weird creepy dreams and whatnot. i'll write a journal of what happened. so here we go (:

there were a slect few students from my school going to a field trip at the nearby hospital. the only good part was talking to olivia before about hair and what kind of wavy and curly styles we like. since she wasn't able to completely straighten her hair, so it was wavy. then we were in this room with a few beds in it. and there were a bunch of african kids and we were learning about them and their sicknesses. they were puking and shitting everywhere. ariel got off the bed and managed to get some of the shit on one of my favorite hoodies so that was a hardcore bummer. then i couldn't handle it anymore so i went to this room where your supposed to say what you learned for a grade. and as i was telling the guy i looked around to see a bunch of elderly people sitting in hospital beds. then i saw one and his head went down. i looked away in fear that he might have been dying and i didn't want to see. but i still payed close attention to the sound of the heartbeat counter thingy. his heart was slowly stopping and i could hear every second of it. and as i hear his heartbeat flatline this woman comes in with a newborn baby enjoying the new world and the daylight. then i woke up not knowing what to do with myself and being depressed as hell. and i mean literally depressed. not what the kids that don't know the meaning say.

so i'm not sure what that means; the fact that i witnessed a person dying but shortly after a new baby coming into the world with every possibility to make this world a better place. but i have a feeling it might be good. kind of like a rebirth. which is scary and so exciting at the same time (:

and to not leave you with such a heavy sad feeling. here's a little fun fact; i've been wearing knee-high socks all day and since i haven't shaved my legs in a few days my leg hairs are hurting xD